


love / six feet under

by crownedcirce



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Drabble, Grief/Mourning, Introspection, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-25
Updated: 2019-03-25
Packaged: 2019-12-07 02:52:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18228935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crownedcirce/pseuds/crownedcirce
Summary: Grief was an ugly beast. Uglier than the one which had already lived inside Remus for years.





	love / six feet under

**Author's Note:**

> i was just feeling some kind of way 
> 
> this is just a short drabble but yell at me on [tumblr](https://punktsuki.tumblr.com/)

Grief was an ugly beast. Uglier than the one which had already lived inside him for years. This beast not only gripped at his entire being, but gripped at his surroundings, the place he’d made home. It wasn’t visible but, it was there. Teeth sharper, claws that dug deeper, a poison that sent his insides cold. It resided in the liminal space between physical pain and emptiness. It manifested itself as both. 

 

It was a thick blanket, but it was not to be mistaken as a comfort. Though, he’d be lying to himself if he said he was ready to pull the covers back and leave, venture out, exposed. It settled beneath his skin and then ripped itself out from under him. It left him falling, no surface to catch a breath or step. 

 

It grabbed hold of the people he loved. It twisted their reality, whispered dark secrets into their ears. It changed the way his friends and his allies thought and felt. It changed their actions.  

 

Grief was a siren. A being that latched on, nails first and dragged him into the dark. It was murkey there, blurred. There was not much he could do but wait and see what grief’s plans for him were. 

 

Pieces of the life he built crumbled. Dark curls slipped through this fingers for the last time and he hadn’t even treasured that moment as much as he should have. How was he to know? 

 

_ It’s too late now.  _

 

Remus now saw that you lost more people after death than the ones who were buried six feet under in the dirt; nothing left of them but the ten words on their headstone. 

 

The one who had been holding him up, holding him together would never be his only saving grace again. He couldn’t save him from his monster. He had two of them now. 

 

_ He’s gone.  _

 

Now, he really was alone. Nobody really knew what to say to him anymore. Not now that Sirius was gone too. So, they kept their distance if it could be helped. He didn’t blame them. 

 

He was falling now. Parts of him un-sticking, peeling as the scaffold that kept him steady began to tear. The glue that kept him in place started to yellow and decay. 

 

He tried to make his own glue to try and keep himself together. Tried to re-build the model of his life as best as he possibly could. But, he added too much water to the paste. He was losing the will to stick. Treading water could only last so long when he never really learned how to swim. 

 

_ “Sometimes,”  _ grief whispered to him. _ “It’s easier to drown.” _

 


End file.
